Five Reasons We Make Fun of Girl Gamers on XboxLive

Most gamers on XboxLive are male. I won't go into age, cause it ranges from 6 year olds to 40 year old men, which is fine. However, there exists one certain gamer that always seems to draw attention to a chatroom full of men --- the female gamer.

While there aren't that many females on XboxLive compared to guys, most girls find out its best to keep quiet, or else they will feel the wrath of a "Real Gamer." And I'm sorry to say the only real gamers are guys. So, to the point, why we can make fun of you...

1. Male Dominance
XboxLive is not an equality opportunity environment. This is our realm. We have owned the gaming realm since Chess, Pong, and Dungeon&Dragons. Just like if we were to walk into a beauty store, we would be a noob. Hairspray, mouse, gel --- it all does the same thing right? That's exactly how we feel when a female enters our domain.

2. Your Voice
Technology has failed to capture the true sound of the female voice. Instead of hearing a sweet, soft voice, all's we hear is a high pitched, child-like sound, instantly inciting the anger buried deep within the male genome. Believe me, if you had to hear yourself, you would say 'shut up' too.

3. We Secretly Want to Be Your Xbox Friend
We will never admit it, but we really do want to be on your friendlist. Maybe its the insane idea that you will come over the cable wire and give me a blowjob. Maybe its the idea that we can have XboxLive Vision Chat in the nude. We make fun of you cause we want to get your attention, with even a small possibility you will think we're funny. And we could all use some more female friends im sure.

4. You Play Too Nice
XboxLive is a battle zone. Making friends or chit-chat with the enemy is a violation of principle. You like to talk nice and wish everyone a good game. WRONG! You are supposed to hate the enemy. You MUST t-bag the opponent if you pwn them. You MUST betray your teammate if he steals the sniper from you. It seems that the female gender does not have this killer instinct.

5. You Most Likely Suck (at playing)
Ok. I know there are 'SOME' good girl gamers out there. And my hat goes off to you for competing in a man's world. However, don't be mad when we make fun of you. You don't realize that 95% of the girl gamers we encounter are in fact noobs. They are playing on their brothers Xbox or something to pass the time. And these gamers deserve to be ridiculed, screamed at, and made fun of to the fullest extent. While on occasion there may be a very good girl gamer, you are few and far between, and must PROVE yourself in the battlefield. Until you do, you will always be a noob.


Again, this applies to 95% of the girl gamers I meet online. For the other 5%, I hope you will realize that you are not in this category and are indeed respected by the gaming community. So don't take offense to us cursing at you in-game, it's just our natural reaction. British kids though, are a different story...

Another Week of School

So lets see...right now I'm sitting at Panera eating my lunch/dinner. This week went alright. Monday's class was boring with a stupid powerpoint on how to conserve water (aka don't be an idiot). Tuesday I had to hand in a paper that I did while I was stoned and it came out pretty freakin good. I'm really good at writing papers when I high, cause I tend to over-analyze the question and go really in-depth with my answer. Desktop Publishing was another noob lesson --- how to make custom gradients and duplicating an image in the book. I asked the teacher why I couldn't just scan it and use LiveTrace, but he said he wants the class to become more proficient with making curves. Just stupid busy work if you ask me. GIS (Geographic Information Systems) is actually a class I'm learning alot in. I've never really though of learning GIS software, but I can really see practical uses for it, albeit it is sometimes very boring. I didn't go to my business class today --- they wanted $10 for a pizza party and I'm like "F" that. You are gonna get some shitty pizza, its gonna be all messy, and you are gonna keep us there till the last second (cause she does everyweek) and I just couldn't deal with it at the moment. So I came to Panera, got some food I really do enjoy (Bacon Turkey Bravo + Broccoli and Cheddar Soup) for less than the Pizza Party. And I'm going to be working on my paper for Tuesday cause I won't have much time this weekend.

Peace